This blog post was originally published on my tumblr.
Today is a big day for you. And while I am unapologetically a lover of love, there’s a lot that I have to apologize for.
I’m sorry in advance for the way many of my Christian brothers and sisters will respond. I’m sorry if any of it is rooted in pride, superiority, anger, ignorance or lack of love. And if you don’t believe in Jesus, I’m sorry if any of us have contributed to that path that you choose to take.
But what I really want to apologize for is for how we have failed to demonstrate to you the true meaning of marriage. I’m sorry that while our understanding of a covenant should look significantly different from yours (as we claim it does)…it doesn’t. And I’m sorry that we choose divorce just as often as everyone else, instead of choosing to demonstrate the Cross and selfless love as we should.
I’m sorry that we have made it all about man loves woman vs. man loves man, instead of making it about Christ loves the Church. And I’m so sorry if our emphasis has come off as being against gays instead of being for the gospel.
I’m sorry that we’ve made marriage about ourselves, our rights, and our choice instead of the privilege we have to demonstrate Jesus’ love. And I’m sorry that because of the former, we have distorted Jesus’ perfect love along the way. That wasn’t and isn’t our intention, I’m sorry.
We have failed to make marriage about Jesus, the beauty of the Cross, and His love for the church, and because of that, we have joined you in settling for something short of what God intended marriage to be. Because His main message was not for Man to be with Woman, as much as it was for Christ to be with His Bride. And as this is the case, then any marriage covenant on earth that does not enter with this understanding (whether between two Christians, two nonbelievers or two men/women) is not worthy of being recognized.
And so I’m sorry that we have settled for something so short of what God desires of marriage. And instead of pursuing and demonstrating the beauty of a God-made covenant, we have refused you of something without sharing with you its ultimate value and purpose.
Because everything seems right and just in the name of love. But everything is given value and purpose in the name of Jesus. And I care so much more that you and I find our worth in Jesus than for us to find love on this earth. And so I apologize if Jesus has not been at the center of everything we have said, done and fought for. I really do.